Scaredy-Cat Review: The Nun

These nuns ain’t fun… but they sure are creepy.

Title: The Nun
Director: Corin Hardy
Year of Release: 2018
Scaredy-Cat Level: 👻 👻 (Scary, but in a fun way!)
Subgenre: Religious Horror

Plot Summary (Spoiler-Free)

Some weird shit is going down in Romania again! With the help of a trainee nun, and a French-Canadian guy, a detective priest heads to a creepy-as-shit convent to investigate the suicide of a nun. Hilarity ensues.

SPOILER ALERT!

The rest of this review contains some details and thoughts that might reveal a bit too much about the movie — you have been warned!

The Scaredy-Cat Experience

• Jump Scare Count: Maybe four! They were pretty predictable, but still enjoyable.

• Tense Moments: I didn’t feel a lot of tension in this film. But there are plenty of eerie moments.

• Spooky Atmosphere: No matter how many candles they light in this convent, it never gets any brighter. Dark corridors, creepy statues, and ominous warnings make for a very spooky atmosphere, but in the best way.

Bits That Scared Me:

• "That's not how I left her." — creeeepy!

• When the suicidal nun jumps out the tree. Saw it coming, but still scary.

• The priest stuck in the coffin. Being buried alive is no joke.

The Funny Bits

· The part where they put their luggage on the truck and it drives away, revealing a horse and carriage waiting for them. Felt like something from a Laurel & Hardy movie!

· "Tomorrow, a village will be missing it's idiot." — great insult!

Scaredy-Cat Verdict

Scary nun, spooky convent, snake regurgitation — what's not to like? It’s definitely a horror film, but seasoned horror veterans won’t flinch much at this. Fans of The Conjuring series might appreciate some of the nods to the other films which, having still to watch the others, went right over my head.

Final Thoughts

This film has a lot going for it — a fantastic setting, a good cast, and a decent story. Had they slowed things down a bit, took some more time to build the dread and terror that goes so well with religious horror (The Omen, anyone?), then I think we’d have a timeless classic on our hands. Despite this, it’s still a good movie, delivers on some scares, and entertains throughout. P.S. — Justice for Frenchie.

My (Out-of-Context) Thoughts During the Movie

"Wait... this isn't Sister Act."

"Romania, a great setting for a horror movie."

"I'd love to play a deeply distressed alcoholic priest who brings dark tidings in a horror movie."

"How do we solve a problem like Irene? Send her off to Romania, apparently."

"I wish the lighting in horror movies wasn't so dark. It makes it hard for me to see when I'm watching them during the day."

"So this guy is like Ace Ventura but for holy stuff instead of pets? Alrighty then."

"Why is no one else at the burial? Not even another nun/work colleague bothered to attend. Rude old cows."

"Did she say they're about to take their Vespas? 🛵"

"Nuns of Anarchy lol."

"Is Frenchie gonna get killed before seducing Irene?"

"How about not going out in the creepy graveyard when it's dark? Just a thought."

"Something tells me he was right about that boy being possessed."

"Snaaaake!"

"Winifred Sanderson called — she wants her book back."

"That pub is definitely a Wetherspoons."

"Why has no one mentioned the other nun who was dragged away to hell at the start?"

"I'd be hiding under the covers with my feet tucked in. I don't wanna see what's going to kill me."

"Rigor mortis is a huge problem for these nuns. And creaky hinges."

"If they all keep dying, soon there'll be nun left. Get it? Nun left? Never mind."

"Looks like praying didn't work, eh sisters?"

"Was that a zombie!?"

"When all else fails, use a shotgun."

"She took her vows. Frenchie must be devastated."

"That nun should run."

"I wonder if the blood of Christ was just wine."