Fragile Steps: Chapters 6 & 7
Previous Chapters
TRIGGER WARNING: This story includes scenes of cruelty, bullying, and ableism. If these themes are difficult for you, please prioritize your well-being and read with caution.
Chapter 6: Brianna
The place was deserted.
Jet black floor tiles, hued with amber from the lights outside, led to a high reception desk. Dad was already standing to one side of it, holding a steel gate open and giving Brianna an expectant look.
A cold draught whistled through her, burning her cheeks. She felt like she wasn’t meant to be here, like she was trespassing. She shuddered at the thought of being caught.
“Come on.” Dad said, looking ever more anxious.
She pushed forward, hands slick with sweat.
As soon as she was through the gate, Dad let it slam shut, then practically sprinted the short distance to the industrial-sized elevator and slammed his thumb into the call button again and again till the doors opened with a groan.
Inside, Dad hit the button marked “B1”, and Brianna’s stomach tightened as the elevator dropped. Dad stood an inch from the doors, his breathing heavy as he waited like a coiled spring for them to open again. She’d have killed to know what was eating at him. Maybe, like her, he was just nervous about the procedure, but something told her it was more than that. She didn’t dare ask him though, in case he bit her head off again.
The stench hit the back of her throat as soon as the doors opened. Bleach, ammonia, and who knows what other chemicals. A long, empty corridor lay in front of them, the sickly green walls doing nothing to ease her anxiety.
“Quickly now.” Dad charged forward as she struggled to keep up, while strange whirr of machinery came from every other door they passed. She could ask him later what exactly went on here — now was not the time. She followed him into a room at the end of the corridor, and her jaw hit the floor.
The room was massive and dimly-lit, with most of the light coming from computers or other pieces of lab tech she didn’t recognize. But there, in the center of the room stood an terrifying piece of apparatus — the reason she’d been brought here.
The monolithic structure, black and cylindrical, lay on its side. Veiny scarlet lights ran over it, dimming and then brightening again, as though it was breathing, something Brianna had struggled to do since setting her eyes on it.
Dad really understated its size when he compared it to an MRI scanner. To her, it was more like a cross-section of large tunnel, one she’d have no choice but to enter soon. It was almost impossible to conceive that this thing was used for healing purposes. It looked other-worldly, as if stepping inside would teleport you somewhere dangerous. A place that, if fortunate enough to return from, might leave you forever changed.
Brianna swallowed. Was her life really so bad that she was willing to risk it? Her shitty existence, where even a good day was utterly miserable, and there were a lot more bad than good? Of course it was.
A voice greeted them from just inside the darkness, causing her heart to skip a little and taking her attention off the monstrosity in the middle of the room. “Good evening, sir,”
“Noah.” Dad said, relief echoing in his voice. “Thanks again for doing this.”
“My pleasure, sir.”
Noah stepped into the light, and Brianna’s first thought was that there was no way he could possibly work here. He looked her age, maybe a year older. He was tall though — at least a head taller than Dad, who wasn’t exactly short — and had a sort of disheveled look, like his work kept him too busy to brush his dark mop of hair. He had pleasant face though, very pleasant, in fact.
Noah pushed his clear, thick-rimmed glasses up his nose as he shuffled over to her, wiping his hand down his lab coat before holding it out. “Hi, uh,” he said. “Brianna, right?”
“Hi.” she said, taking his hand. His hand was soft, if a little sweaty. In fairness, it was boiling hot in this room of electrical equipment.
Noah let go of her hand and stared at her, longer than was socially acceptable for someone you’ve just met. Did he want something? Brianna kept smiling till he eventually lowered his gaze, and thought she saw his cheeks blush just a little, though it was too dark to tell for sure.
Dad’s voice cut through the awkwardness. “Noah will be assisting me with your procedure, Brianna. Are we ready to go, Noah? Is there anything else we still need to do?”
“No, Sir. We’re ready to begin.” Noah adjusted his glasses again as he turned to Brianna. “Before we begin, perhaps I should brief you a little on the procedure. You probably have some questions around the specifics of what’s involved, what to expect afterward, and any potential risks—”
Dad waved a hand. “No need for any of that. I’ve already filled her in.”
“Uh, okay, well if you have any last minute queries, or you need me to explain anything, at any point, just—”
“Noah.” Dad said, his patience clearly wavering. “Perhaps we should get started.”
Noah nodded and seemed to get the message: the less his daughter knows about this brand new, mysterious procedure that she’s about to be a guinea pig for, the better. “Yes, sir.” he replied, swallowing hard. “Right away.”
Brianna brushed a lock of sweaty hair from her forehead. She tried to convince herself that Dad wouldn’t let her go through with this if it there was any real risk of something bad happening to her. He was her dad, and he loved her. He wouldn’t put her life in danger, would he?
Noah approached the console on the side of the beastly contraption and pressed a few buttons, then the monitor flickered to life. Brianna squinted to read the heading at the top: “Subject #27”.
She stared at the monitor, lost for words. Subject #27, that’s all she was in here. Not Brianna, not someone who’d been through hell and wanted a chance at her old life back, not even a patient. No, just another subject. She couldn’t help but wonder about the twenty six before her, and how they had fared — had they at least survived the ordeal?
Whoosh! Brianna jumped as the machine sprung to life. Its veiny red lights intensified, like a sleeping animal who’d just been disturbed, and it was not amused. From the entrance slid a bed with thick leather straps hanging from it. Her heart was still pounding when Noah apologized. “Sorry. We should have warned you that was going to happen.”
“Why do I need to be tied down?” she asked.
“It’s for your own safety.” Dad said. “Some people get a little twitchy when they’re put to sleep. Anyway, are you ready?”
Of course she wasn’t ready. She had too many questions, worries, and doubts, but she’d resigned herself to getting precisely none of answers, or reassurance, she craved. She clasped her hands together in an effort to stop them shaking, and took a deep breath. “Yes. I’m ready.”
“Good. Noah, can you help me lift Brianna onto the table?”
“Yes, sir.”
Dad grabbed her under armpits while Noah took her legs, and together they lifted her onto the table. Moments like this were when she felt truly helpless. Her confidence slipped deep inside of her as she closed her eyes, only reopening them when she felt the table beneath her. Noah was staring at her again, but he quickly averted his gaze. What a strange guy.
They were about to strap her in when the shrill ring of Dad’s phone interrupted them. Dad tutted as he took his phone out of his pocket, but his face dropped when he looked at it. “It’s Jill.”
“What could she want?” Noah’s fearful expression matched Dad’s.
“Who’s Jill?” asked Brianna.
“Ssh!” said Dad, finger at his lips. “Not a sound from either of you.” He answered the phone like he was disarming a bomb. “Hi Jill.” His voice overly cheerful. Then his eyes widened as the color drained from his now panic-stricken face. “Oh no, that’s okay. No — no I was just about to come back up anyway, I’ll come to you, okay? Great, on my way now — bye.”
Noah bit his lip. “I thought she was done for the day?”
“She was supposed to be.” Dad cursed, running his hands through his hair. “It’s alright. I’ll go keep her busy, but that means that you have to oversee the procedure.”
“What?” said Brianna, panic in her voice. Surely he didn’t expect her to trust a stranger to perform her procedure, a little boy at that?
“It’ll be fine, Brianna. Noah is more than capable. Isn’t that right, Noah?”
Noah gulped. “Of course, sir. No problem.”
Her insides twisted. My life is in the hands of someone who just gulped.
Dad rushed to the door. “I’ll be back soon, and don’t worry, everything’s going to be fine.”
Noah gave her a fearful glance, clearly terrified by the situation he was thrown into. “Okay,” he said, fumbling at his glasses again. “Let’s get started.”
Chapter 7: Brianna
Noah secured her legs in place, a thick leather strap around each ankle, and another just above each knee. “Are you worried I’m going to try and run away?” asked Brianna.
Noah blinked. “What? No, it’s just that I have to, uh — if I don’t strap you in, then…” He finally noticed Brianna’s smile. “You were kidding.” He dropped his head. “Of course you were.”
Not so smart for a scientist, are we, Noah? She kept the conversation going in an effort to ease his nerves, and to slow her violent heartbeat. “How long have you worked with my dad?”
“About two years. It’s just flown by though.” He moved up to secure the strap across her stomach. Brianna tried to suck her waist in, all too conscious of the fact that she had been much more toned the last time a guy touched her there.
“Is he, like, your manager?”
“He’s more than that.” Noah stopped for a moment to smile fondly at the ceiling, “I’ve learned so much from him, he’s my mentor.”
My dad, a mentor? She couldn’t imagine Dad mentoring someone. He’d never even had time to help her with homework, that was always left to Mom, who wasn’t much help either, but for different reasons. “What exactly have you learned from him?”
Noah’s face grew bright enough to light the dark room. “He’s been kind enough to let me help with his research, which has been such a challenge, but also incredible.” He took her right hand and placed a strap around her wrist and above her elbow. “This breakthrough, it’s truly amazing. It’s going to change so many lives, make all the sacrifices worth it.”
A cold sweat prickled at Brianna’s hairline. “Sacrifices?”
The veiny scarlet lights from the machine glowed on Noah’s face. He was still smiling as he strapped her in, but now that smile felt a little… off, almost like it was painted on, and didn’t quite reach his eyes. What the hell did he mean by “sacrifices”?
But Noah still didn’t answer, and with passing each second, she became more aware of just how vulnerable she was. Am I about to become the next sacrifice?
Finally, he opened his mouth again. “Oh, you know. Working long hours, late evenings, weekends. Has to be done sometimes.”
“Oh, I see.” She breathed a sigh of relief and told herself that Noah didn’t have the look of a serial killer, although that wasn’t entirely true. After all, nothing screamed serial killer quite like a deranged scientist. She was being ridiculous though. Dad wouldn’t leave her in the care of someone who would chop her up into little pieces, at least not intentionally.
She caught the faint scent of leather as Noah fastened a strap across her forehead. “He talks a lot about you, you know.”
“He does?” The smell of leather had been replaced by that of bullshit. Dad barely speaks to her, so the notion of him talking about her to someone was hard to believe.
“Yeah, all the time. Says you’ve been doing well in school this year.”
“I’m doing okay, I guess.”
“Sounds like you’re doing better than okay. He said you’re smarter than he is, and that’s really saying something.”
“I think he might be overselling me a little.” she said, scoffing, but in the back of her mind, she wondered — could Dad actually be proud of her? He never said it, or even showed it, but if he was telling people about her, then maybe he really was.
She swallowed a big lump of emotion before she cried. Now was not the time to get sentimental; she had to focus on making it through this procedure. But she vowed to herself that, if she did, she’d work on her relationship with Dad. With Mom too.
Noah fastened the final strap and paused, his expression softening. “He used to show me pictures of you and him together at your cross country events. He was always looked so proud of you with your winner’s medal around your neck.”
“Oh.” If her hands hadn’t been strapped to the table, she’d have stuck her fingers in my ears. Reliving those memories felt like some cruel form of torture, making her want to pull her own hair out. One of the first things she’d done when she got home from the hospital was bury all her medals and other racing crap in an old storage box. Mom might have kept hold of them, maybe they were in the attic, but she didn’t care. As far as she was concerned, it all belonged to someone else.
“He also told me how much you’ve gone through since your accident. How difficult it’s been, with school and stuff.”
“Sounds like he’s been talking too much.” she said, with a little bite in her voice.
“Yeah, maybe.” He moved to walk away, then stopped, scratching the back of his head. “I’m not sure if you know this, but he blames himself for what happened to you.”
Brianna frowned. “He does?”
“Yeah. He was supposed to pick you up that night, right?” He shrugged. “I guess that’s why he’s been so focused on work since it happened. He’s desperate to make it up to you, to give you your life back.”
Brianna wanted to be sick. Not once had she given a single thought about how everything had affected Mom and Dad. No wonder Dad barely looked her in the eye these days. She never blamed him though. He wasn’t the one who ran her over and left her for dead; that was Ryan O’Connell.
“I really hope this works out for you, Brianna. That you get your life back, the one you deserve. You’re young, bright… beautiful—” his cheeks flushed and he started fidgeting with his hair and glasses again. “W—what I mean is, you deserve some happiness.”
Beautiful. She couldn’t remember the last time someone called her that. She smiled, unsure of what to say.
Noah turned and pushed a few buttons on the console, and the machine began to purr, like a cat waking from a long nap, and the bed she lay on shuddered.
Brianna screwed her eyes shut as she slid toward the shadow of its mouth.
Author’s Note:
What did we think of that, then?
Writing these chapters gave me serious anxiety — and I wanted you to really feel that too. Brianna is already dreading the procedure, and then her dad leaves her in the hands of a stranger who seems completely out of his depth.
We also get a glimpse of Arthur’s guilt here. He was supposed to drive her to Brad’s house that fateful night, but he wasn’t there — and he’s blamed himself ever since. Now, he’s desperate to make amends... but desperation can be a dangerous thing.
Oh, and Noah totally has a crush on Brianna (here in the UK, we'd say he "fancies" her). But does she fancy him back? 👀
And btw — who’s Jill? We saw her back in chapter 3, remember? Keep an eye out for her later.
Tune in next week for the aftermath of Brianna’s procedure — and remember, paid subscribers get the next chapters a whole FOUR days early for just £3.50 a month. Why wait when you don't have to?
The hallway would have terrified me already, and if not that then the machine 🥲. Noah is so interesting! I had so many favourite lines; the transitions were done so well as usual too. Once I was in the ending ripped me out 😂 barely noticed my commute home