Fragile Steps: Chapters 15 & 16
Previous Chapters
TRIGGER WARNING: This story includes scenes of cruelty, bullying, and ableism. If these themes are difficult for you, please prioritize your well-being and read with caution.
Chapter 15: Brianna
Brianna breezed through the front gate. “Good morning, Principal Munroe! Beautiful morning, isn’t it?”
This was especially awkward for Munroe, since he was right in the middle of pretending he hadn’t noticed her. He jumped at the sound of her voice, his head spinning round so fast, he almost broke his neck. The poor thing was so startled that all he managed to say in response was, “Oh.”
People were staring today. They always stared — she was the girl in the wheelchair, after all. But today, they stared for a different reason — she looked fucking fabulous. She smiled and greeted their shocked faces. It’s amazing what a new romantic relationship (and flawless eyebrows) can do for a girl.
Making an effort with her appearance was one thing, but it was time to start socializing again. She’d barely spoken to anyone in school for the past year, no wonder they ignored her.
She arrived nice and early at her first class of the day, smile still beaming on her face as the other students poured in. A few of them even said hello! So far so good.
As always, the seat at the front of the class beside her was empty, where whoever arrived late had the misfortune of sitting beside her. This was usually Tara Johnson.
Poor little Tara burst in a few minutes late, much to the displeasure of her teacher, who scorned her in front of the sniggering classroom. She scrambled into the vacant seat beside Brianna, muttering a string of apologies and dumping a mountain of books onto the desk, the scent of aged paper wafting through the air.
When the teacher was distracted, Brianna whispered. “Hey.”
Tara stopped thumbing through her textbook. Her wide eyes bulged as she looked round at Brianna — like she’d forgotten she could speak.
“How are you?” Brianna asked, hoping to snap her out of her deer-in-the-headlights stare.
“I’m okay,” Tara muttered. It sounded more like a question than a statement. Then something wonderful happened: A conversation began. “How are you?”
“I’m good, thanks.” This briefest of exchanges filled Brianna with hope. She used to be good at speaking to people. Not only that, but she used to enjoy it. “Did you do the homework?”
Oh dear, thought Brianna, as Tara’s eyes bulged again. “What homework?”
In a panic, Tara rummaged through her bag, searching for the homework which, deep down, she knew she hadn’t done.
Brianna discretely slid her notebook across the table. “Here. You can copy mine.”
Tara’s face softened as she let out a sigh. She even smiled. “Thank you so much.”
From then on, there was no stopping Brianna. She answered out in class, and cracked jokes with her classmates (most of which didn’t land, but that didn’t deter her). In a couple of short hours, she’d become a ray of shining light in a dismal place. A warm rush of positivity filled her, something she hadn’t felt in forever.
But it didn’t last long.
The lunchroom was busy. The line of students grew chaotic as friends and rivals tried to cut in, pushing and shoving their way to the front while sweating lunch ladies earned their black belt in speedy service. Having considered asking if she could join a table filled with students in her year, Brianna decided to eat alone. Maybe tomorrow, she thought, watching a group of harmless nerds laugh together three tables down.
That’s when she noticed a girl weaving through the crowd, eyes fixed on her like a heat-seeking missile. She gave a little wave, and Brianna looked behind her — was she really waving at her? News of her new positivity must have spread quickly.
“Hi — it’s Brianna, right?” The girl had an abruptly-loud and over-friendly voice.
Brianna had seen her around. She was in the year below her and part of the cheerleading team. She wore her skimpy little uniform right now, despite no there being no match or practice today. Perhaps there was some other official cheerleading business she had to attend to that day. “Yup, that’s me. And you’re…”
“Christina!” She yelled and waved frantically from two feet away. A few people along the length of the table looked over, irritated. “So nice to meet you, Brianna. I’m just going to cut to the chase as I can see you’re busy, Brianna.”
Brianna had no idea what gave her the impression that she was busy. Maybe it was the morsel of her sandwich lying in foil, or the half-full can of soda. “Sure. What’s up?”
“Thanks.” Christina inhaled deeply, as though she were about to dive underwater. “Well, Brianna, as I’m sure you’re aware, one of our fellow students, Ryan O’Connell, was the victim of a horrific attack a last week.”
“Not horrific enough,” muttered Brianna.
Christina’s gratingly-cheerful face, framed with a cluster of tightly-wound curls, turned sour for a moment. “Sorry?”
“Oh, nothing.” Brianna waved her hand. “Please, continue.”
Christina’s smile was back in an instant. “Anyway, Ryan is a promising young football player, whose dream of turning professional could be over. What’s more, he’s one of us.” She touched her chest as her lips tightened. Suddenly her voice had a somber feel to it — what a performance this was. “And here, we look after our own.”
For a moment, Christina looked like she may burst into tears, but she bravely composed herself and carried on. “Although we can’t do much in terms of repairing the physical damage inflicted upon him by that awful person — whoever they might be — we can still show Ryan that we’re here for him. So myself and a few other guys and gals are collecting donations today for our dear friend. We’re hoping to get him a gift, maybe a nice watch with an engraving from all of us, just to show that we’ve got his back through all of this.”
When she was done with her heartwarming spiel, Christina stared expectantly at Brianna. If she was waiting for her to start rummaging around in her purse, she’d be waiting a while. “Can I go back to my lunch now?” Brianna asked.
Christina seemed perplexed as she stared at her with searching eyes. Clearly this was not the response she was hoping for. “But, aren’t you going to… any donation you could make would be so appreciated.”
Brianna took a deep breath. Be nice, she told herself. “Christina, we don’t know really know each other at all, but you’re probably aware that I wasn’t always in this chair.”
“Yes I know.” She tilted her head. “You were in a car accident — how awful.”
“Actually it was a hit and run.” Brianna’s voice grew firmer, as did her face. “And do you know who hit me and then ran?”
Christina placed a delicate finger on her chin, trying and failing to look puzzled. “Um, I head that they never caught anyone?”
“It was Ryan. Ryan O’Connell, that poor, innocent little victim you’re trying to collect money for. Does that sound like a cause I’d wanna donate my hard-earned allowance money to?”
“But, I mean. Well, Ryan was never charged… and you suffered some head injuries too. Is it possible that you’re mistaken?”
Of all the moments where Brianna had truly missed the use of her legs, this one topped the list. If she could have, she’d have given Christina a swift kick in the crotch.
Most of the nearby students were now watching this scene unfold, so she made sure to speak loudly and clearly for their benefit. “No, Christina, there was no mistake. In fact, the only mistake was you approaching me today. Ryan O’Connell deserves everything he gets, now fuck off before you swallow the rest of my soda, while it’s still in the can.”
Christina had turned the color of beetroot, her lip was trembling. She scurried away before anyone realized Brianna had made her cry.
Oh well, thought Brianna, as the whole lunchroom stared. Can’t be friends with everyone.
Chapter 16: Brianna
Just around the corner from school, someone called after her. “Brianna, wait up.” It was a voice she hadn’t heard in a while, but she’d recognize it any day of the week.
Brad jogged to catch up to her. “Hey,” he said, smiling like the events of the past year had all been just a dream. If only.
It had been almost a year since they’d broken up. Since then, they’d barely spoken, which was made easier by the fact that Brad was dating Keara, her nemesis. She’d go nuts if she could see her man just now, they way he’d run to catch up with his ex. Maybe she’d find out, there were no secrets in this sandbox of a town, and news traveled fast. The thought of Keara finding out and losing it brought a warm and fuzzy feeling to Brianna’s tummy.
“Hi.” Brianna continued on her way. Whatever reason he had for speaking to her, she wasn’t going to make it easy for him.
Brad walked briskly to keep up with her. “How have you been?”
“Great.” And she really had been. Noah had her doing stuff she’d forgotten she loved —movies, dinner, picnics. Sometimes he’d pick her up unannounced and they’d just drive somewhere and talk shit for hours. Not before grabbing a milkshake though. And her rehab was going amazing; last night she had pins and needles in her feet. It burned a little, but it was the best feeling ever.
As for how Brad had been? Who gives a shit.
“You look good,” he said, giving her a nod. She scoffed. Had his conversation skills been this bad when they’d been together?
An awkward silence descended on them, but Brianna wouldn’t be the one to break it. Brad was clearly racking his brains for something, anything, to say.
“I heard you got into some fight with Christina Harper?”
Why am I not surprised? “If people are calling that a fight, God help us.”
“Yeah, they always exaggerate that sort of thing, don’t they?”
“They do.”
To her relief, they were almost in sight of the school. In a few short moments, Brad would see some of his buddies in the distance, and run to catch up with them before class, then she would be rid of him. She could survive a minute. Maybe even two, if she didn’t roll her eyes so hard they fell out. Hopefully her dry responses would make him think twice before bothering her again.
“So, how’s your family?”
“Jesus fucking Christ.”
Brianna stopped and faced him. “What do you want, Brad?”
“What? I’m just trying to be nice.” He shook his head at her, like he was wondering what her problem was.
“Nice? You wanna be fucking nice now?” she yelled, not caring if the other students noticed. Her voice almost cracked, but she held it together. “Okay then. Hi Brad, my old pal! How are you this fine morning?”
Brad looked at his sneakers. “Don’t be like that.”
“Oh and how’s that girlfriend of yours? Keara, is it? You two make such a fucking cute couple!”
Brad’s hands were stuffed into the pockets of his jeans, sulking like a scolded toddler. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just — I don’t want things to be awkward between us anymore.”
“You didn’t upset me, Brad, not today, at least. And there is no awkwardness between us, because you’re not part of my life. It’s been a year, and I don’t think about you at all.”
Brad’s mouth fell wide open at this revelation. How could any girl possibly get over him? “You don’t mean that.”
“Yes I do.” She flashed a smile at him. “Now, kindly fuck off.”
Brianna was still flushed from the argument when she arrived at class, and her new friend, Tara, noticed. “Brianna,” she whispered, looking concerned. “You okay?”
What a sweetheart, she thought. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just my ex pestering me.”
Tara gave her a shy smile. “He’s probably pestering you because of how good you look.”
Brianna beamed at her. “You know what? I think you’re right.”
***************
She was almost home, the leafy little pedestrian lane stretching ahead of her. Taking the main street would’ve gotten her home quicker, were it not for the cars parked half-up on the sidewalk. She’d thought about complaining — but who’d listen?
The high-pitched ringing of her phone startled her. Hopefully it was Noah calling to make plans for this evening. It had already been a couple of days since she saw him, and, weirdly, she was starting to miss him, even his snarky comments.
She stopped and rummaged through her bag, searching for the phone.
Then —
Her neck jerked back, her hair yanked into a tight fist.
She thudded off the ground, pain swimming through her brain. The contents of her bag, including the ringing phone, bounced down the street.
“You bitch.” Keara’s voice trembled as she knelt over her. “You sneaky little bitch!”
The knife pressed against her neck, the pointed edge digging into her.
Brianna stiffened, if she moved an inch then the blade would tear open her throat. Keara was so close, she could count the scarlet veins in her eyes, the blotches on her face. At the corner of her eye stood Violet and Michaela, watching with folded arms.
“I know about you and Brad. Going to school together like you’re still a couple. You trying to break us up, Harvey?”
“No, Keara.” Her voice strained from her leaning on her chest. “You’re welcome to him.”
Keara pushed the blade further up underneath her chin. “Don’t fucking lie to me. We’ve all seen you lately — wearing cheap makeup and trying to make your greasy hair look good. Pathetic.”
“Keara, I swear, I’m not—”
Whack!
Keara punched her hard on the nose. Her eyes watered. A gush of blood spilled over her lips.
Michaela placed a hand on Keara’s shoulder. “Keara, come on — let’s go.”
“She’s not worth it,” said Violet.
“Almost done, girls!” Keara’s voice softened, sounding almost pitiful. “Harvey, you gotta move on from Brad. I know it’s hard, but there are plenty more fish in the sea. You know what you need?” She snatched another fistful of her hair. “A new look!”
Keara lifted the knife and started sawing at Brianna’s hair. My long, beautiful hair.
Screaming, she fought back, hands bloody as she tried to wrestle the knife from her grasp.
“Hold still, Harvey.” Keara cackled louder with each clump of hair she tore off. “Wouldn’t want you losing an ear!”
The blade digs closer to her scalp, the searing pain like an army of fire ants biting at her skull. Brianna kept screaming, till Keara shut her up by stuffing some hair into her mouth. She gasped and choked as it scratched the back of her throat.
“There.” Keara stood up, looking satisfied with her work. “It’s a brave look, Harvey, but I think you’re rocking it. Here, take a look for yourself.” She produced a compact mirror and held it in her face.
It’s gone. All of it’s gone.
Her whole scalp was visible, save for some brittle, wiry patches. The rest of her head was raw with deep scratches and cuts.
Brianna swallowed her emotions. She wasn’t about to give the bitch the satisfaction of seeing her cry hysterically. “You’ll fucking regret this, Keara.”
Keara feigned a disgruntled look. “Is that the thanks I get for all my hard work? I’m hurt by that, Harvey, I really am. I mean, just five minutes ago, you were Brianna the wheelchair-freak. But now, thanks to yours truly, you’re Brianna the bald wheelchair freak!”
She leaned in close again, laying the blade flat against her cheek, the sharp tip just below her eye. “You think this is bad? Your hair will grow back eventually. But if I ever catch you speaking to Brad again, I’ll cut out something that won’t. Try me if you think I’m bluffing — I dare you.”
Leaving her covered in a mound of bloody hair, Keara laughed and walked away, her squawky voice fading in the distance. “Let’s go, girls. Hey — how much do hairdressers make, by the way?”
Author’s Note:
Okay — deep breaths. Let’s talk about what just happened.
It’s fair to say Brianna underestimated the danger Keara posed. Up until Chapter 16, she saw her as cruel and spiteful — but ultimately just a school bully. Now, she sees that Keara is something much more dangerous.
Writing the attack scene was both difficult and, in a strange way, gratifying. I wanted it to be hard to stomach — which meant going to some dark and visceral places. Keara cutting off Brianna’s hair is deeply personal and invasive. It’s her way of asserting dominance, of stripping away the last bit of power Brianna has left.
What makes it worse is the timing. Just before this, we finally see Brianna regaining some of her old confidence — becoming more like the person she was before the hit-and-run. And in an instant, Keara rips that away from her.
The question I hope you’re asking yourself now is: what will Noah do when he finds out?
You’ll have to tune in next week to find out.
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